From Afar
by Yelene-ryudream
Summary: WARNING: HBP SPOILERS! An old friend remembers his past and a certain person that he cares a great deal for.


From Afar

By: Yelene-ryudream

AN: I am in the process of losing someone close to me, so I wrote this as a commemoration to Albus Dumbledore, for whose death I grieved as greatly as for that of family.

Disclaimer: I do not own any Harry Potter characters. They belong to J. K. Rowling. This is a completely non-profit work of fiction.

… … … … …

_Holding you close and giving you kisses aren't the only symbols of love. Quietly watching over someone from afar is a kind of love too._

I look around among the masses of people. Birds are singing and the sky is so clear. It is such a beautiful day. I wish I could feel the warm sun, shining down on my old, wrinkled face and feel the light breeze swim through my long, silver beard and hair.

But those times are gone.

I spot a messy, dark-haired head sitting in the back row beside his friends.

As the funeral proceeds and my eulogy is given, I find my mind wandering. The speech is indeed beautiful, but somehow I feel I would have preferred to be known for my amazing Gobstone talent rather than my "intellectual contribution."

Ah, well. Life is not perfect, even in death.

As my gaze returns to the young man I have watched over for many years, I begin to recall all that I have seen and heard the young man do. I say young man, for, you see, he was never truly a boy. And he most certainly isn't now.

I remember well the first time I ever met Harry. It was not long after Lily had given birth and she and James were celebrating the long-awaited arrival joyfully with their closest and dearest friends. The tiny baby boy was lying in his father's arms. I smile as I recall the awestruck look on James's face. It was the first and only time when the audacious young man was ever struck dumb without a single word to utter for five whole minutes. Lily never did let him live it down, nor Sirius, either.

I remember how the young infant turned his head to me and looked at me with large green eyes, so much like his mother's. I remember his innocently curious stare and his babbling little giggle when James had given the child to me to hold. I will admit that I have had little to no experience with children below eleven years of age. My siblings were all older than me and it has been such a long time since the youngest memories I have retained, scarce as they are in old age. I remember feeling amazed how something as innocent as the child in my arms could still exist in such dark times as it were, when Voldemort had seemingly destroyed everything that was good and whole in the world.

I also recall the overshadowing knowledge of the prophecy I had witnessed a mere few weeks before this baby was born. And I remember praying with all my might that this child was not the recipient of such a fate, for his sake more than anyone.

But, of course, as it turned out young Harry _was_ chosen by Voldemort to be "marked as his equal." Thus, he was left parentless with only a scar in memory of the horrible Halloween night. Then came the night when I left Harry on the doorstep of his aunt's house to fend for himself in that prison for ten long years without love, friendship or true caring family. I do regret the inevitable decision I had to make. I knew fully well that I would be condemning him to a miserable childhood within that house, but it was the only way I could keep him safe until he was prepared to forge his own path in our world.

I promised myself and James and Lily that night that I would protect Harry at all costs. I wanted Harry to live, because I knew that if he lived, he'd be able to find happiness for himself one day. He had that strength inside him. I watched over him as he grew, and I made sure that he never came to great physical harm. To this day, I realize that I was not able to protect him from every verbal lashing from his uncle and aunt, nor every schoolyard beating from his cousin. Yet, I realize, too, that Harry rose above it, all on his own. He did not let his relative's hatred change who he is. For that, I am unimaginably proud of him and always will be.

Harry has never given me any reason to be disappointed in him.

Since the day he came to Hogwarts, I have watched him grow as a person, physically, mentally and emotionally. Everyone always tells him how much he is like James. And it is true. Physically, he could have been James's almost-identical twin, minus his eyes. However, Harry shares James's courage, his love for adventure, his disregard of the rules (chuckle), his loyalty to his friends, his recklessness, his flying ability and, of course, his free spirit. If only Harry could have been a fraction as carefree as his father had ever been, but life left him little time for such things outside of his frequent escapes from murder and his confrontations with the man, or monster, that had taken away his parents and his chance at a happy childhood.

Once he came to Hogwarts, less happy and healthy than I would have preferred but thankfully still alive and open to friendship and love, I watched him all the more closely. I watched him solve the mystery of the hidden Philosopher's Stone within Hogwarts (quite adeptly, I might add) along with his friends in his first year. He faced a fully-grown wizard, possessed by the most evil wizard since Grindlewald, himself, at only eleven, and practically won. I was more scared when I found Harry fighting off Quirrell than I'd like to admit. I was quite terrified that I had arrived too late and that I had failed the child that I had promised to protect. I was immensely proud of Harry that day, for his courage, his determination to keep power out of evil hands, and his wisdom to know when he needed help. I also realized that I was beginning to care for Harry much more personally than was truly safe. I knew what would lie ahead for him, what path he would one day take, but I had watched him for so long. I had seen his struggles and his sorrows. He was happy for the first time since I left him to the Dursleys, and I could not bring myself to ruin his happiness and his only time to truly be as a child, even for only a short time. For now, I would gladly bear the burden of knowledge, so that I would not have to utterly destroy the innocence that shone in his eyes.

The second year, I watched him struggle with his doubts about himself. I observed as he discovered his connections to Tom Riddle, solved the mystery of the Chamber of Secrets, and destroyed the Basilisk and Riddle's memory, his Horcrux (yes, even then I suspected Voldemort's use of Horcruxes). Yet again, Harry had risen to unbelievable challenges, which no child his age should face, and he had triumphed. Harry faced the characteristics that made him so similar to Riddle, and proven just how different he is from him, all at the same time. I was very proud, but I still did not have the heart to crush him after such victory.

Harry proved in his third year that he possessed unwavering loyalty to his friends and the courage to face his fears head-on. I noticed Remus's growing relationship with Harry, and I also saw him realize what I had known Harry possessed since the very beginning. Harry is greatly like James, but he possesses Lily's loving heart. He gave Sirius, a wrongly-accused convict, a second chance at life and the opportunity for freedom. He believed Sirius with no more proof than what was in his heart. He forgave Sirius, and he gave him hope of being Harry's godfather again, of having a family again. He accepted Remus as a werewolf when the majority of the Wizarding World would have rejected him. Harry spared Peter Pettigrew, a rat which in all honesty (even to me) deserved to die. Harry showed just how gracious and generous he could be, when few had ever shown such kindness to him. My pride in him knew no bounds.

It is utterly incredible how a boy that has lacked so much love in his short life, has so much love to give. I believe _that_ is his greatest strength.

In fourth year, Harry showed integrity and a value of every life in the second task. He believed that the task was a true life-or-death situation and he treated it as thus. He showed good-sportsmanship in informing Cedric of the dragons, so that everyone was playing on an equal field. Lastly, Harry once again proved his courage by facing Voldemort and his Death Eaters full-on and surviving to warn us. Yet, I could not warn him.

Last year, Harry had to deal with many struggles inside and outside. I admit I did not help the circumstances much. In fact, I most likely made them worse. In the end, I forced Harry to discover the truth in the most difficult and heart-breaking manner. I had not been completely truthful with him, nor did I fully consider his feelings or what he would be thinking at the confusing age of fifteen. He showed just how much his temper resembles that of his mother's. I did not realize that he had long been ready for the truth, and it cost him the most important person in his life, his godfather. I would not have blamed him if he never spoke to me again, nor if he never forgave or trusted me again. But he did.

This year had to be the most difficult of years, I have ever had to face. Why, you ask? Because I knew I was going to die before the year was up, and I would be leaving Harry to face the world and Voldemort alone. I took Harry from his relatives because I knew that Harry would be the safest with me and I believed I owed it to him to give him a fairly decent summer holiday. I also had a feeling he could help me convince an old professor to return to fill a position in Hogwarts. It was soon after that Severus admitted that he had taken an Unbreakable Vow to kill me if Draco Malfoy failed. I had a feeling that my death was soon coming, but now I knew for sure. Yes, I knew. I told Severus to go through with it, much to his reluctance. Despite how Severus can be, he has always been true and loyal to me since I helped him escape Voldemmort's grasp. I knew that if he did not, Severus would die from the Vow's power. I know that there is something that Severus is meant to do. Something he could not do if he were dead. I have lived a long time; my usefulness has dried out. I am no longer young enough to react quickly to spells, and there is nothing more I can do for the war effort, besides prepare Harry. And I have done that to the best of my abilities with the short amount of time I had. So, you see, Severus did not kill me out of hatred or in cold blood. He killed me because I told him to. It was the only way to save Draco and him. It was the only way I could free Harry to take on the next quest. Harry has far more in common with both than I think he realizes, but if he did, I am sure he would understand why I trust Severus. Because I trust _Harry_. So, I taught Harry everything I knew about Riddle, so that Harry would know how to defeat him when the time comes. I told him of the Horcruxes because now it is Harry's job to finish what I helped him to begin.

I know that Harry will defeat Voldemort. I cannot see how anyone that has watched Harry as closely as I have over the years could disagree with me. Harry possesses all the qualities that make him a great leader, and even greater friend. He is the perfect mixture of James and Lily.

Long ago, I promised Harry my protection, but since then, he has gained so much more. He gained my sympathy with all the struggles he had to face. He gained my pride in him with all that he has accomplished. He gained my respect with his courage and his ability to do good in everything he did. He gained my trust when he showed kindness to those that are close to me and when he showed faith and loyalty to me. But most of all, he gained my love when he showed himself and all that is a part of him: his friendship, his ability to forgive and accept people as they are, his courage, his fear, his loyalty, his anger, his pain, his sympathy, his love for life and for every individual life, his mischievousness, his inner strength, and most of all, his faith in good.

In my mind I recall a message from a letter that Mr. Ollivanders sent me so long ago after Harry walked out of the shop with the second wand with Fawkes's tail feather. It said: "With such a wand, I expect great things from Harry Potter one day." Indeed, Harry has done great things, and I am positive that he will do greater things in the future.

For even though I may not be there to guide him and protect him in body, if he takes me with him, I will stand with him when he faces Voldemort and I will celebrate for him when he triumphs.

By now, the speech has long been over. A white tombstone casket protects my body. The dawdling people are slowly dispersing back to their lives and their wonderings of the future. At last the grounds are empty, save for one messy-haired young man. He has waved his friends toward the carriages, saying he has one last thing to do and that he will be along soon. He approaches my tomb and I move towards him to see what he is going to do. He falls to his knees beside the white stone. I watch as he runs a finger reverently and lovingly over the engraving of my name. I see his lips lift slightly in a sad smile of remembrance. One tear slips down his cheek, and I realize with great regret that I can do nothing to comfort him now. Suddenly he speaks and his voice is surprisingly steady and calm.

"Thank you," he whispers barely loud enough for me to catch it. I stare at him in confusion. "Thank you for doing all you could to protect me throughout all these years. It might seem strange just talking to your tombstone, but somehow I know you're here,"

I smile softly, but what he says next takes me a bit by surprise. "I finally realize, though, that I cannot expect anyone to protect me anymore. It is time I stop hiding behind someone else, and face this head-on. Don't worry, I won't be facing it alone, no matter how much I might want to. Ron and Hermione won't let me. I'm going to go back to the Dursleys one more time, because I know you wanted me to, and it's only right that I should take the last of the protection you can give me. I know that will make you happy to know that you still have something to give here." I laugh at his last comment and I see him smile as if he could hear my laugh.

"Then, I'm going to go to Bill and Fleur's wedding. Professor McGonagall was right. You of all people would be happiest that there was a little more love in the world." I smile and nod silently, my eyes shining with pride for this young man that has been the closest I ever had to a grandson.

"By the way, you might be happy to know that Remus and Tonks are together now," he added with a wink. I can't help but laugh. It was about time. Both of them really needed someone to be there for them, and Remus would definitely benefit from the unconditional love of the out-going, young metamorphmagus.

"I also wanted to tell you that I won't be coming back to Hogwarts next year, not that it would be the same without you here." I watched him silently, not that he could hear me. "First, I'm going to go to Godric's Hollow and pay respect to my parents' graves. Then, Ron, Hermione and I are going after the Horcruxes. Then, I'm going after Voldemort. I promise you that I _will_ destroy all the Horcruxes and defeat Voldemort. I promise you that I will make sure that your sacrifice and the sacrifices of my mum, dad, Cedric, and Sirius are not in vain. I promise. I will complete our mission." He finished with the determined look I had seen so many times. With that said, I watched Harry stand and walk away.

"I know you will, Harry," I say.

Suddenly, he turns around and stares towards me. I wonder if he heard what I said, if he can see me. But I realize with a sigh that he is staring through me, not at me. Still, I see him smile warmly and I still ponder if my words had somehow reached him. But it doesn't really matter. Where he goes, his parents, Sirius and I will follow. Because I more than care too much about him; I love him.

_Holding you close and giving you kisses aren't the only symbols of love. Quietly watching over someone from afar is a kind of love too._

… … … … …

AN: Thank you for reading and please don't forget to review. By the way, I took the quote from the Seventh Book of the Sailor Moon Manga. For my readers of my other works, I'll try to update soon. I'm going through rather bad times right now, but I'll try my best. Thanks for all the support.

This story is dedicated to the memory of my great-grandmother, who passed away yesterday evening, Wednesday, August 3rd. May God hold her in his arms. Rest in peace.

_R.I.P. Albus Dumbledore_


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